If there’s a person who caused me a lot of pain, it was you. But that doesn’t mean I hate you or I hated you because the truth is, I don’t and I never did. Despite the things you did which brought pain and loneliness into my life, I still thank you. For without you, I wouldn’t know how it feels to lose someone in a blink of an eye, to stand after a fall and to be surrounded by friends I thought I also lost. The bottomline is, you only made me stronger, and thanks for that. 

Dear Lola,

A year had already passed but I can still feel the same pain when you left us. What torments me the most is the fact that I didn’t have the chance to see you for the last time and to show you how grateful I am that you were my grandmother — the one who raised me,  who taught me the fundamentals of life and  who introduced Him to me, because if it was another person, I doubt I could have been who I am now. 

I hope you are happy where you are now. Though we can’t be together physically anymore, I know that you are always in my heart and you are always there guiding me. I’m missing you so much. 

♥,

Grecka

Dear God,

Nothing is greater than You. Even though sometimes, I tend to forget about You, You still shower me things I don’t deserve.. Please forgive all my sins and shortcomings and help me not to commit them again.. Give me the wisdom to  identify what’s right and wrong. 

Thank you for all the blessings you continue to bestow upon me and thank you for helping me overcome the recent problem I’ve had.. Please help me forgive those who have sinned against me.. Help me not to hold grudge against them and please purify my heart and my soul. I ask these in Jesus’ name..

Mr. Right Guy,

I don’t even know if you really exist but I know you’re just there. Maybe we’ve taken the same train together. Maybe we’ve passed by each other at the mall. Maybe we’ve already met but I just don’t know that you’re the right one. Whoever you are, I want you to know that I can’t wait to meet you. I can’t wait to spend my life with you and build our dreams together. But that doesn’t mean I am in a rush. I’ll take things slow and I’ll try to learn every lesson life has to offer me. I know I still need to let my heart be broken by other guys to make it stronger and resilient for you. Just show me you’re the one and I’ll give you all the love I am saving for you. See you soon. <3

fugiwara-x

Siguro nagulat ka ano? Ano nga ba ang masasabi ko? Hmmn, well di ako makapag-isip kung sino ang favorite internet friend ko. Kaya ikaw na lang. Choz. Ikaw naman talaga eh. Isipin mo, dahil lang sa Pet Society naging super close tayo dati, as in pati real life mega kwentuhan tayo. Pero kasabay ng pag-quit natin sa PS, pati ang chikahan nai-quit na rin. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na pinapahalagahan ko yung mga trades and chats natin noon. Kung kelangan mo ng kachikahan nakaonline palagi ang fb ko. Good luck sa college life mo. ;)

Since I have no idea what to write, I’m just going to paste my last letter to him

December 4, 2009

x-Cure,

Ciao!

91 days (3 months) have passed since we both agreed to end up everything between us. I’m not bitter anymore, but definitely not as ecstatic and as contented as you are right now. But I’m happy that you are happy. I’m happy that we have made big decisions with no regrets nor hatred. And today, I am writing you my final letter. I don’t need to but i think i have to . :)

I am sorry for the stinging pain that I brought. And  I am truly sorry for whatever it was that I have done to bore you and drive you away. I am sorry if it seemed I was worthless, if it seemed I expected and asked too much from you, if it seemed I didn’t love you enough, but I can assure you that I loved you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything.

Thank you for always driving me home, thank you for the things you sneak into my room to surprise me, thanks for bringing foods, for the company and help whenever i needed you, thank you for the laughter as well as the pain, thank you for loving me as much as I loved you, thank you for teaching me about life and love. I want you to know that I am grateful for the person you are and the person you shaped me to be. I’ll never forget you andI hope you’ll do the same too. Smile at what we had and smile at who you are now. Live everyday to its fullest and be genuinely happy. That is what I wish for you — happiness.

I harbour no resentment towards you. I wish the best things in the world for you. I am not bitter, nor am I angry. I find no fault in the decision we made because I know that you and I are happy with it. I’ll be happier if we meet again several months or years from now in our new lives. I will always look back to what we had — that was one of the best things in life.

There are certain things in life which are incurable. Let’s go find the person who can prevent them. 

Arrivederci. 

Addendum: 

My boyfriend wants to thank you for letting me go. ;)

To Pascuale, the 80 year old man who sells pre-loved items at Via Chiaia:

I wish I could approach you and tell you how much you touched my heart this day. You’re just a simple man but you have a golden heart. I have seen a lot of people pass by that street, people who ignore what they see, well-dressed persons who don’t care about this city and just throw their litters anywhere, teenagers who destroy the public properties, but you, a street vendor who doesn’t even have the strength to bend your back, had the will to gather the scattered trash on the park. What you’ve done was unnoticed but there’s one person who surely appreciates it aside from me, it’s Him. You may not be paid by the government for the volunteer work you do but you will be surely paid by Him in time. May He give you a good health and a longer life. You deserve it.

I was 7 when you were  a “pilot or a doctor.” I can barely remember the memories I had by that time but the moments when I role played as a pilot and as a doctor are still engraved on my mind. Time passed and things changed. After elementary school you became a “teacher,” I enjoyed being at the spot light, I loved speaking in public but time came when I suddenly lost that confidence and I knew I can’t stand in front of a crowd. My passion of speaking in public has vanished. Several years later, I could feel the pressure. Then came the intruders, you became “to-fulfill-their-dreams.” I needed to choose a course, I took up nursing because that was what they wanted. I didn’t really like it. Blood makes me weak. I hate seeing people suffer. My only goal was to graduate with flying colors. At my second year, the intruders appeared again and decided I should leave the country. You then became “come-what-may.” I am now on my third year of IPSAR but the older I grow, the more I can not understand what you are about.

Whatever you are and whatever I may become in the future. I just wish to be happy and to be married to the right man. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Dear Ate,

The last time I wrote you a letter was 10 years ago. Since then, I never wrote one. I wonder how I can write so many letters to a lover who would just hurt me in the end while I seldom, if not never, write to someone who cares about me more than anyone in the world. And now, this is my chance.

Though I never say certain  words, you know that I’m  thankful to have you as my sister. We used to have  a dog and cat relationship before, or even worse, but as we grew up we became best friends. From you, I learned many things. I learned to depend on myself because every time I had some requirements at school, you never helped. I knew I should avoid liquors and cigarettes because you served as a bad example to me. I learned how to be simple because you were too extravagant. And inspite of these things, I admired and still admire you. You are a very strong woman and you stick to your principles. I just wish you all the best things in life and I wish you will change for the better. You know what I mean. :P

I love you and I miss you so much, chaka!

Dear Mom & Dad,

Foremost, I would like to thank you for all the sacrifices you’ve done for me and for my sister. I may not seem grateful enough but I really am. You are the world’s best parents!

I’m sorry if I’m too lazy and hard headed always. Well, I’m not used to doing house hold chores and I’m not used to hearing why-didn’t-you-do-this-and-that. Tehe. 

One thing more, I hope you are aware that I am old enough to make decisions, to take risks, to go to parties and to get back home late like normal teenagers do. And please don’t be too possessive. >_< Just because I have a boyfriend and I love him so much, doesn’t mean I love you less. You are still on the top of my priorities! Blood is thicker than water, right?  But time will come, he will become a part of us! Cheers! 

I love yo both! Thank you for letting me go out with my friends and with him.

<3,

Athena

Dear Superman,

I remember it so well.. July 26, 2009, you were wearing a blue superman printed shirt. You looked so cute, neat, nice and different from the others. You seemed to be a boyfriend material so I was so eager to meet you or at least know your name.

I was in a group of a newly found friends when you approached and introduced yourself.. “Lloyd from Vigan.” “Oh! I’m from Bantay,” I replied. I was so glad I finally had the chance to speak with you. Your name didn’t leave my mind eversince. Several minutes later, they played a sweet music and invited everyone to dance. I saw you standing there with a girl who seemed to be your girlfriend. You were both so sweet — looking at each others’ eyes and only inches away from each other. I just snapped and said, “Oops! Taken.”

Months later, I knew more about you though we haven’t talked since we met. I knew you’re together for almost four years and I admire you for that. I just wanna tell you that you are a great guy and I hope you’ll not change. I wish you and Elizabeth good luck! Ciao!

♥,

Athena

P.S.

I sometimes stalk your facebook.

Click here to view my Letter Project

Dear Chaz,

Hello! It seems so odd to me to be writing you a letter. I can’t even remember the last time I made a letter for you. One thing’s for sure — It was before you migrated to Florida.

I was so gloomy the night when you left because I didn’t even have the chance to hug you and to say that I will miss you. I was left speechless and I cried silently as we were on our way home. All the memories we shared flashed in my mind and I asked myself when will those things happen again. Our food trips, sleepovers, road trips, inuman sessions — those are the things that complete one’s existence. But most of all, it’s having a consistent and loyal best friend like you. Thank you for being there through ups and downs. By now, you are already my sister. :)

Some friendships end in the simplest reasons, I’m glad we’re still best friends despite the distance. I hope to see you soon in  6 months. I really miss you.

♥,

Athena :)